The most important relationship one can have is with self. When there is no peace within self, there can be no peace with others, for external relationships are just mirrored reflections of our internal relationship with self. One cannot express what one does not have within themselves, wether this be love, hate, fear, or any type of judgement. In order to love, one must know and be love. In order to hate, one must know and be hate. In order to fear, one must know and be fear. In order to judge, one must know and be the judger. What you practice is what you become, whether practiced outwards or inwards.
The most important relationship one can have is with self, this is self love. This is the vertical relationship. It is our relationship with our body, our energy, our energy centers - Chakras, from the bottom of our feet to the crown of our head. It is our relationship with “Higher Self - God - Universal Consciousness - Cosmos - Father” above, and Mother Earth below. It is the unification of Mother and Father energies above and below us, as well as within us (Please see blog on Becoming Whole). It is an understanding of and relationship with self. Without a relationship with and understanding of self, one cannot have proper boundaries. When one does not know self, does not have boundaries - one takes on the traumas, judgements, and fears of others. The most important relationship one can have is with self - the understanding that one is not the judgements, fears, and traumas of others. That one is clean and pure love.
Relationships with others, outside of us, are important as well. These are horizontal relationships. Through these relationships we practice AND strengthen who we are - love, or who we have become conditioned to be - hate, fear, or judgment. Through horizontal relationships we are triggered (please see blog on triggers), so that we can cleanse ourselves of who we are not. Through horizontal relationships we can heal through being triggered, as well as make corrections of behavior and shift ourselves from a practice of judgement, fear, and hate, to a practice of love. In this way we shift from a conditioned being of judgement, fear, and hate, to a clean and pure being of love. We reconnect to our true selves.
So why is our vertical relationship the most important? It is important because of the matrix - the conditioned reality in which we live, and of which we have a horizontal relationship with. We are surrounded and bombarded by the matrix, the advertisements, the commercials, the news, the magazines, the politics, the fear, the judgement, the hate, and unfortunately the people who have become pawns and puppets of this conditioned reality, until they wake up. Hopefully the tide will change the more people awaken, but until then boundaries are necessary. Until then it is vital to cultivate our vertical relationship with self, while we interact with the horizontal relationship of the matrix.
How does one cultivate their vertical relationship with self? First and foremost, through awareness of self, and through awareness of what is NOT self. This means taking time to disconnect from the matrix and connect with yourself. ONE MUST MAKE TIME TO CONNECT WITH SELF!!! Connecting with self is not always pleasant at first, for we have endured wounds and traumas from the many years spent living in the matrix of fear based behaviors, and often endured trauma as a result of the fear based behaviors of our parents and other adults, when we were children who could not easily and willingly defend ourselves. Connecting with ourselves often means reconnecting with these traumas in order to process them, cleanse, and heal ourselves. This is an uncomfortable process that a large majority of humanity prefers to avoid, through distracting themselves within the matrix, constantly and compulsively looking for external relief from their internal discomfort through unhealthy horizontal relationships; from unhealthy relationships with people, to alcohol and substance use, desperate searches for any quick fix or latest fad, watching television or searching the internet for hours to avoid life, the over-acquisition of material goods, overeating, over-dieting, over-exercising, etc. One of the most unfortunate methods to avoiding internal discomfort, is the external projection of one’s discomfort on others, due to differences in skin color, cultural, or socio-economic background. ALL EXCUSES NOT TO DEAL WITH ONES OWN INTERNAL CONFLICT, which results in division without and division within. Connecting with self is a cleansing and healing of self, a uniting of this divide, a becoming whole.
One must make time to connect with Self - Vertical Self - Higher Self - Universal Consciousness - Divine Mother - Divine Father - God, throughout the day, especially as one interacts with the matrix. This will assist us in our horizontal relationships, helping us connect with others who are also cultivating this state of being, as well as assisting those who are still conditioned, as a byproduct of the energy emitted through our vertical connection. Vertical connection and energy is limitless, as is the cosmos. Horizontal energy is limited, especially due to ego and competitive mentally. There is no power struggle when there is unlimited energy - the energy of our vertical self. There is only power struggle through sole focus on horizontal comparison and competition; the me first, me better, and me right mentality. We must be aware when we get sucked into unhealthy horizontal behavior. Horizontal relationships are important, however, they are only healthy when one has a healthy vertical relationship with self. Then there is no power struggle, judgement and fear. Then there can be only love. The most beautiful and healthy horizontal relationships are between those who have a healthy vertical relationship with self. There is no power struggle, no competition, no judgement, no fear, only love.
-Michael Garbe
(Meditation is simply a connection with self - Next Blog)