Meditation is simply a connection with self, whether this be true self or ego self. True self is a state of pure being. Pure being requires no thought; pure being just is. Ego self is a state of conditioned being. Conditioned being requires an idea of self; an idea of self requires a thought; an idea is a thought. Through meditation we can connect to true self, while becoming aware of conditioned self; both important processes which allow us to connect with who we are, while identifying who we are not.
Meditation accomplishes connection with self in two ways. By connecting us to true self - who we are, and by developing awareness of ego/conditioned self - who we are not.
The ego is a psychologically conditioned defense mechanism, which unfortunately, also keeps us trapped in it’s defenses, defenses which in time turn into a prison. The ego served a purpose at one time, which was to protect us from trauma. However, the same defenses that protected us from trauma, also protected us from processing this trauma in a healthy manner; the truthful processing which is necessary for our liberation from trauma; the truthful processing which is necessary to connect us to our state of being before and after trauma.
The ego is a product of conditioning. The ego is a product of who we think we are, who we have been made to think we are, based on conditioning through experiences. We become aware of ego self, by becoming aware of our thinking, by becoming aware of our thoughts. Thoughts are not evil, however, conditioned thoughts are not true self; they are a product of external conditioning, a product of the matrix, a product of trauma. The goal of meditation is not to get away from thoughts permanently, but to observe them. Even the Buddha was stated to find peace amidst his thoughts, not through their elimination. Thoughts have value. By observing thoughts we become aware of our conditioned self, we become aware of the ego, we become aware of who we are not. The scientific method informs us to do the same; search for truth through the process of identifying untruth.
So if we are not the ego, not the conditioned thinking, not the traumas that we endured, who are we?
We are a state of being that existed before, and will exist after, trauma.
How does one get in touch with this state of being?
By processing and cleansing oneself of trauma.
How does one process and cleanse oneself of trauma?
By feeling trauma away! By doing what the ego is protecting you from doing. BY FEELING!!!
Feeling is the antithesis of thinking. The ego, the mind, built the prison; thinking will not provide the key to escape. The only way to escape the prison is to feel your way out, and it is often a painful escape; an escape that often keeps individuals trapped in their egoic, conditioned state of being for a lifetime, or at least until the pain is too great, and even then, the search for anything to medicate the pain, from drugs, both prescription and non, to alcohol, to any form of compulsive behavior, is desperately sought after and used, to not feel and process trauma.
The greatest form of meditation is to simply feel your state of being, to process what you are feeling, and in this way to liberate, and connect to, true self; not to run away from this process. Any meditative practice that implies otherwise is functioning exactly as the ego would. Ego is about control. Meditation is about liberation, through the process, not away from it. Furthermore, the ego is highly structured, as is the prison it built. Any structured meditative practice is also functioning as the ego would. Meditation again, is about liberation from the mind, from structure, from trauma, not controlled by it. Any structured, formulaic, meditative technique or process is egoic, plain and simple.
On a side-note: Any structured, formulaic, religion, philosophy, or institution, which claims to be ridding one of their ego through a structured, formulaic practice, is inherently self contradictory and egoic in nature.
Non-egoic meditative practice guides the practitioner, not vice-versa. Non-egoic meditative practice liberates the practitioner from a conditioned state of being, rather then further conditioning the practitioner through a conditioned practice.
So how should one meditate?
By letting go. By letting go of control. By letting your body guide you. By feeling your body. By feeling which is the antithesis of thinking. By consciously allowing oneself to feel everything they have to feel, in anyway and however possible. In a bed, in a chair, laying on the floor, crying, screaming, kicking, etc. By observing your thoughts when they arise and try to egoicly control and define the situation, and by surrendering again to the body and feelings which will guide you, rather than your ego doing so. Your body will dictate everything. Your body is the temple which wants to be clean whether your ego wants to or not. This is the reason for your aches and pains, your ailments, your psychological symptoms. These are just symptoms of the process and the cleansing which must be surrendered to. When the temple is clean, one will connect with true self; true self which exists before and after conditioning and trauma. Let go and allow the process to free you. It can happen no other way.
Meditation is simply a connection with self and there are many ways to do so. None more profound than allowing oneself to feel and be their truth.
-Michael Garbe